Going Back

This mush is where I like to stop pile everything that I like together. I was almost planning on getting married this comming september, of course it is the month of september now. I was hopeing that maybe last winter my boyfriend would have gotten me a ring, but It still hasn't happened yet.

I have gone through the internet and looked at things that I like and I have visited jewlrey stores, but I dont think that he will get me anything that I like and I don't think that he cares. I don't really even care, but it would be nice, since he's never gotten anything for me to think that he would go out of his way a little bit and he would want to show me how much it means to him. I don't care if he goes to the pawn shop or where he gets something, I just wish that he would give me the chance to tell him what I'd like or not like, and that way I dont end up wearing a ring that I do not like. HA, it is funny to me to even think about this anymore, but logging into this site makes me kinda feel bad about it. This is just like an archive of all the stuff that Ive found that I do like, and when i do shop online and stuff like that I look for inexpencive items that would be do0able.

anyway. Things are about 90% right now with matt. They are much much better then what they used to be. I dont know why. He knows that I've been waiting for a ring and stuff. My mom pointed something out to me the other day, that if he wanted to do something nice for me or get me something nice then he would have to ask his mom for money to do that, because she is in control of all of the money. Also, he is alwayssssss going to have HIS stuff that he WANTS and is WORKING on and buying. His 4wheelers and his trucks... it is a never ending thing. It reminds me of my dad, which has never bothered me, because my mom has always baught everything for me that i've wanted when i was younger, like the cell phones and the computers and the jewelry and the cars she has helped me buy and just a never ending list. My dad helped my buy a dirtbike, but that is in the same category as his woodsplitter and his toys that he uses while working. It is an investment for him and I am glad that he does all of the things that he does for himself to stay busy, but it does remind me of how matt is, a lot of his money goes towards just stuff for themselves.

I don't like to crituque things like that, it doesnt really bother me that much that my dad is like that, i am glad that he has the money to do things for himself. and he is the one who is doing the work so he deserves everything that he has.

I just wish that matt could be like okay, I will get you a diamond ring and we can be engaged and then When you finish with your schooling and we both are set up with full time jobs then we can get married. I don't see whats wrong with that. I hate thinking that he says he wants me to be the mother of his kids and then I feel like the only real way that he will be alright with giving up his childhish ways and his iresponsibilities is if i accidentially get knocked up. It wouldnt just be a choice that he'd like to make, and be like okay I AM READY and i'd like to have kids now. I wish that he did a little more of living life like that, but i don't think it is really in his nature to do things that way.

So I don't know, I will keep in mind some rings that I have seen. I think that my FAVORITE one that i've seen was at the jewelry store in down town frederick md called capital jewelers. It was a three stone ring, which i always had said that I didnt like and then what do u know, I see a ring that I LOVE which is already set up with real diamonds and everything in it. 14k white gold but i dont really care. It looked like the picture off the the right hand side that I have copied and pasted. I forget where I found this picture, But I will continue looking for rings that look like this. Some of the sites call them "halo" rings, so I guess I could use that when I do my searches. I like the "antique halo" style.